Attempting to take on a nuanced topic because it’s important and something that comes up often with my clients who are #survivors and have #cptsd : identifying when we’re actually being “triggered” and when we’re experiencing a valid response to something objectively f*cked up.
Learning to discern when we’re being “triggered” and when we are in righteous anger is important when we’re in conflict. Especially when our feelings are being minimized and we’re being gaslit. We may hear we’re overreacting, that the problem is “our” issue, or even have our past childhood abuse turned and weaponized against us. This can cause us to doubt ourselves and lose footing in a conflict.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Even if you are being triggered in an argument and your past “stuff” is coming up, your feelings are still VALID and boundaries can still be set. In the past my abusers would use my “daddy issues” against me to make me question what I was feeling and I would end up collapsing and giving up trying to make my point.
This is why doing our inner work is so key to navigating tough conversations. In my upcoming group program I’ll take you though weekly steps to understand your nervous system and attachment style more, give you tools to start having more self awareness and regulation, and then how to take more presence, self awareness, and empowerment into communication, even when you’re feeling “triggered,” angry or anxious.
Cassandra Solano, LCSW
#narcissisticfather #emotionalabuse #narcissisticmother #ancestraltrauma #innerchild #narcissisticabuse #adultchildrenofalcoholics #consciousrelationships #childhoodtrauma #intergenerationaltrauma #emotionaltrauma #relationshipcoach #relationshipadvice #relationshiphelp #relationshiptips #unhappilymarried #marriagecounseling #marriagetherapist #marriageadvice #consciousrelationship #innerchildhealing #cptsd #traumatherapist #trauma #traumainformed #healingtrauma #traumahealing #spiritualgrowth #cptsdrecovery #selfhealer
Yay for New Friends!
Hi there! I'd love to gift you a free handout on a huge key to having healthy relationships: Attachment Styles. Your attachment style is just as important as your enneagram or horoscope in helping you understand yourself!