Updated: Jul 15, 2020
In our self help saturated new age world filled with #inspirational quotes in our social media feeds, acknowledging our mental health struggles and shadow can be hard.
You may wonder how can I share I binge eat, cut, drink too much, etc. when all I see are people living their best lives ever? As much as I personally LOVE following accounts full of inspiration and watching friends and loved ones celebrate success and love, we have to be careful not to jump into comparing our insides to their outsides.
Comparison is a losing game. Whether you think you're better or worse, you lose. Comparing automatically shifts you away from the truth we're all divine children of the Universe, and in our Creators eyes equally beautiful.
So what does this have to do with #trauma healing and #mentalhealth? When following accounts and people online becomes a comparison trap, it can create a sense of shame around your own struggles. In this way you continue to invalidate yourself, minimize your struggles, and downplay your mental health.
Experiencing trauma, whether it was a traumatic event, emotional abuse, neglect, or several events over time deeply affects an individual on a physical, mental and spiritual/energetic levels. The aftermath of the trauma continues to impact another person with flashbacks, nightmares, reliving the trauma with triggers, and sometimes lack of support or belief from family and friends.
What happened to you was fucked up, you're gonna be a little fucked up. And that's OK.
It's OK to not be OK.
Don't be fooled by what you see online and let it reinforce isolation, denial, and suppression. When you add spirituality into the mix, it becomes something called "spiritual bypassing"
“Spiritual bypassing is a very persistent shadow of spirituality, manifesting in many ways, often without being acknowledged as such. Aspects of spiritual bypassing include exaggerated detachment, emotional numbing and repression, overemphasis on the positive, anger-phobia, blind or overly tolerant compassion, weak or too porous boundaries, lopsided development (cognitive intelligence often being far ahead of emotional and moral intelligence), debilitating judgment about one’s negativity or shadow elements, devaluation of the personal relative to the spiritual, and delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being.” —Robert Augustus Masters, PhD
Using crystals, essential oils, practicing yoga and getting Reki are all beautiful, beneficial tools. However, if you are not looking at and processing your trauma/shadow/areas for growth you are not doing true healing.
Deep, life-changing transformative healing happens when you shine light in the dark places. Acknowledge your wounds, reach out for help. Know we are all a little fucked up and also beautiful souls traveling this journey together.
Cassandra Solano, LCSW
Yay for New Friends!
Hi there! I'd love to gift you a free handout on a huge key to having healthy relationships: Attachment Styles. Your attachment style is just as important as your enneagram or horoscope in helping you understand yourself!