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Relationships Can Be Hard


Chewing over intergenerational trauma tonight. Working in mental health for over 15 years I’ve talked to thousands of people who were born into unhealthy, toxic, even abusive families, who were born in a body of color in our rac*st world, into poverty, and/or into a unsafe/toxic environment. How so many of these people, including myself, came into the world already with a 5 second penalty in a 100 meter dash. And how environments and our biological inheritance shapes our nervous systems towards connection or towards connection.


It’s not your fault if you’re struggling with relationships and the underlying anxiety, avoidance, fear of commitment, etc that keep happening. It’s how you are wired from even before you’re born + what you experienced growing up.


⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ And because our nervous system is neuroplastic, (always growing and able to change) now is as good as any time to get off the hamster wheel of being unsure about your relationships, having the same arguments, or finding yourself single again after another bad breakup.


Your trauma wasn’t your fault. You can change and have healthy happy relationships. All you need is a little bit of courage to ask for help. If you feel I’m the person to help you and you’re ready to make a change, click here to apply.


Sending you all so much love and holding a vision where we are all healing our past traumas and in life giving, conscious relationships,

With Compassion,

Cassandra Solano, LCSW




Yay for New Friends!

Hi there! I'd love to gift you a free handout on a huge key to having healthy relationships: Attachment Styles. Your attachment style is just as important as your enneagram or horoscope in helping you understand yourself!

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