So this is really like a core, core idea of what I believe. The Imago Relationship Therapy founders, the Hendrixes, in their book, "Getting the Love You Want," talk a lot about this.
When we have a wound in childhood, it's looking to be healed in the context of relationship. So much healing needs to be done in the context of relationship. That's why often self-healing on its own is not enough.
We need a support system, a self help group, a counselor, a pastor, somebody that we can have that relationship that facilitates a space for healing. So I use the analogy like a record player, or a CD, even.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Do you remember when music used to be on physical media? (It's okay if you don't!)
If there was like a scratch in the record or in the CD, it would just skip and it would play the same part over and over. And you would have to lift up the needle of the record player and move it to keep the record going, or take the CD and wipe it to clean it and then put it back in and the song would play through.
So, a childhood wound or a childhood trauma seeking to heal in adult relationships is like that scratch in the record, or that scratch in the CD. It's stuck, It's going to keep replaying that wound over and over until it's healed, until through a safe relationship that scratch is able to be cleaned off the CD, or that needle is able to move, and then you're able to continue on.
Cassandra Solano, LCSW
Yay for New Friends!
Hi there! I'd love to gift you a free handout on a huge key to having healthy relationships: Attachment Styles. Your attachment style is just as important as your enneagram or horoscope in helping you understand yourself!