The ways we’ve survived in the past are often keeping us stuck and from pursuing our passions, having energy to put towards our goals, and keeping us small.
When it hasn’t been safe to be seen growing up and when dimming your shine and silence was how you stayed safe, you have laid down these patterns or neural pathways in your brain. That means these responses become wired and our default response. So even if we “know” what we should do, what we’re capable of, and have big hopes and dreams, these old patterns will take over when we’re stressed.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The good news is that the brain is neural plastic, meaning that it can change with support, safe relationships, co-regulation, and small, strategic and consistent action. It’s like doing road reconstruction and laying down a new road over a dirt road. The dirt road worked fine, but a paved road works better. But like building a road it takes layers and time for it to settle.
I see so many incredible talented and smart people feeling stuck around taking that risk and putting themselves out there to reach their goals or start new relationships. It’s heartbreaking especially with I see my fellow BIPOC women who with the added trauma of colonization, are not reaching their potential.
So if you’re feeling stuck be easy on yourself, identify the patterns that are keeping you stuck, and find safe support to get you unstuck.
Cassandra Solano, LCSW
Yay for New Friends!
Hi there! I'd love to gift you a free handout on a huge key to having healthy relationships: Attachment Styles. Your attachment style is just as important as your enneagram or horoscope in helping you understand yourself!