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Learning To Feel Safe To Be Yourself

Updated: Sep 5, 2020

For years I reacted rather than responded in relationships. I didn’t even know what I was doing: fawning, letting people take advantage of me, accepting unacceptable behaviors, wasn’t ok. I was the Queen “people pleaser” and doing what I had learned in childhood to survive.

Then I learned what “people pleasing” was but I couldn’t stop it. I would see myself say yes when I really wanted to say no, to not speak up or pretend to agree when I didn’t, and beat up on myself for not living my truth. It was frustrating.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I had to show my nervous system that was driving these automatic responses that it was safe to start setting boundaries, saying no, having my own needs, and take up space in a relationship. This happened with small, gradual steps over time that showed my nervous system/subconscious mind that it was safe to let go of those old responses and start showing up as me!

Happy Leo full moon I hope this message gives you some courage to take one small, courageous step towards being more of who you are and letting it be seen.

With Compassion,

Cassandra Solano, LCSW

Yay for New Friends!

Hi there! I'd love to gift you a free handout on a huge key to having healthy relationships: Attachment Styles. Your attachment style is just as important as your enneagram or horoscope in helping you understand yourself!

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